The "roots"

They are the “basic cause, source, or origin or something”…or…”the essential substance or nature of something”. Roots. The one thing that we trace back to some country or ethnicity but never fully understand that OUR roots go beyond the bark, fallen leaves, and a family tree’s extended branches. When I wasn’t dark enough to be “brown and proud” like the poser cholos in my neighborhood and my mother’s hugs and kisses were no longer enough help, it felt like I had accepted society turning me white.

It was then that I no longer cared about the tree in our family…I cut that bitch down, and began to dig for the roots. My roots. Years into digging I realized that these roots intersected with interesting areas of life like society, the educational system, hip-hop, the city of Chicago, and my family and faith. These are my roots. It wasn’t just looking at Columbus or Cortés, Ferdinand and Isabella, or even Moctezuma or Itzamná. They went deeper. So I began to feel for these roots…touch them…hold them in my hands and allow the pulse that rang through them to tell me their story…

I called my mother this morning to tell her that I loved her, and to give a friendly reminder that the biggest pain in her ass was doing everything in his power to make her proud; to prove his worth. She raised me to say “I love you” when the sun rose and when the sun set because she taught me that all we were given was the moment in which we existed, so make the most of it. Single mother raising three kids, putting in overtime so we could do more than just live, sent us to Catholic school and church every Sunday to reinforce the teachings of God, but how was I supposed to believe that good was everywhere when life on the Southside of Chicago was so damn hard? Faith and family go hand-in-hand where I’m from…and slowly I began to comprehend that it never mattered if you praised the name of Jesus or Allah in the end. My mother raised me on love unconditional and with characteristics and qualities to be a man.

School could have been easy for me but it goes without saying that I was a “gifted student who chose NOT to live up to his full potential”. It was hard to concentrate on algebraic formulas, history projects, English material. There’s a good chance that I became a class clown simply because it meant I was left alone. If I was lucky, it meant respect from the people who surrounded but not those who mattered. That was until those who mattered gave me a Renaissance Man Award...and I didn’t understand the significance of being compared to great people like Leonardo da Vinci until I realized I was being recognized for having more than one talent. A dreamer who wasn’t afraid to dream the big dream finally had the backing of teachers and friends…a truly great support team.

As a kid, I had an itch for the “make music with your mouth” biz. Chicago gave me Common Sense, but you could easily catch Tupac and B.I.G. in my cassette player. At 14 I had no real understanding of hip-hop as a worldwide culture. I never recognized breakdancing making me a B-Boy, or graffiti making me a Writer, or penning rhymes making me an Emcee. Without any awareness, these “hobbies” were connecting me to more people than I had ever imagined, and at the same time breaking down segregation walls that separated so many people who were meant to form another kind of “family”. Yes, family. Because just as faith, society, neighborhoods and ethnicities have history and roots, hip-hop had a hand in shaping the man that stands before you. You see, life is not meant to be easy because living is a constant test. The struggle with sleeping and waking a new day, not knowing if you’ll have to suffer, so most would rather stay in bed.

“Grow older, grow in wisom, grow to love people of any color, grow to feel safe in having faith, grow to question, grow to smile, grow to care for others, see the world, grow in the moment here, be scared to grow but never show anyone your fear, you’ll grow to be more rich in life and your touch on the world will grow deeper.” These are words that, at one time my friend who is now dead, once said. So I find my roots and wealth in the events that take place in my life between every sunrise and every sunset.