Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Why is it that I fall in love with every woman who shows me the slightest amount of attention? If all she does is look in my general direction, how is it that I'm hooked? And the situation we're in is of no matter whatsoever. She could pass me by while walking down the street, mixing up and serving drink concoctions at the bar, dancing and accidentally bumping into each for a sudden meet and greet, or hoping on the same train and sitting polar opposites, glancing at each other from our ends of the car.

It's momentary, sure, but tremendously mysterious. No names exchanged, just challenges through extended glances. It's a silent game of Truth or Dare and even though honesty is the best policy, I am never on to back down from a challenge.

Or maybe she isni't challenging me at all...

It's possible that she exists simply as a reminder of what I have yet to become, and the things I have yet to overcome. She isn't some concept I hope brings my life to complete. We're all just fucked up people looking for peace of mind. But I wonder what thoughts occupy her mind as our lines of vision cross, connect, and pause; what is she thinking?

While I may not be able to predict, I can already see us on the first date. Yes, we'll do the walking-down-the-street-talking-and-sharing-coffee thing. We'll do the-debate-over-hip-hop's-greatest-emcees-and-producers thing. We'll do the drink-wine-and-take-in-some-theatre thing. And when it's all said and done, I'll walk her to her door and just like in the movies, I'll request to see her again. And in that moment, that moment where we're both on cloud 9, we begin to near each other for that fairytale kiss....

...she says hello, and I snap back in surprise to remember where I am. It's 11:16 in the morning, and I've had TOO much coffee that the effects are backwards. I return her pleasant gesture as I rub and lower my forehead, hiding my eyes behind the brim of my baseball hat. She watches as I gather my things and I am the one to initiate the farewell.

Her face has the expression of disappointment, and the nodding of confusion about it all is something I've come to be all too familiar with from the opposite sex. A sacrifice I'm willing to make in hopes that tomorrow I'll wake up and finally do more than what I have today.

Where did yesterday go???

Instead of studying for finals, this is what I'm doing...

When did we become a "sometimes" people?

About damn time

I've received my vindication that I referred to a few posts earlier. It's about damn time it happened...

And on that note, I've got a few haikus that popped up from a notebook. Must have been some shit I wrote during class.

1.
You look up and laugh,
But the real joke
is written all on your face.

2.
She may have left me
but our last trip to the Gap
proves who wears the pants.

I might have to write some more, join a haiku death-match of some sort. BUT the important thing here is my vindication. It's great.

Allow me, madam...

Chilvary ain't dead. I'm tired of women trying to ride this high-horse of equality where a guy can go out of his way to hold the door because his mother beat it into his psyche that this was the polite thing to do. That goes for pulling out chairs, footing the bill when invited out, etc.

All this bullshit about, "I can open my own door!" or "I can get my own chair!" FUCK! Obviously you can do all these things because I can see that your arms and legs are not broken. And doing these things will not get me any play from you because if they did, I'd have had more play than Wilt Chamberlain, Larry Flint, and Hugh Hefner combined. If you're not up on your history, allow me to simplify: a whole fucking lot.

So ladies, let a guy hold the door, pull out your chair, buy you a cup of coffee because he thinks you're cool, and if he invites you to dinner let him take the bill. Just make sure your ass goes dutch on that shit next time!

Thoughts on words

I've been thinking about words that have a ring to them. Words that , when said, immediately spurn thoughts in your head. Whether it be a song, a book read, a movie seen, a conversation had, a picture glanced at, a situation execrated. I've been thinking about words and their application to everday life, how simple and easily they can put into perspective the events of each day. Two words in specific that I think say more in what they reveal than in their actual weight are "irony" and "vindication".

I have tried dealing with a life situation that has been ironic, but has also seen me hoping for vindication.

I looked up the word "irony", and came up with this: a state of affairs or event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and can be amusing as a result. The word "vindication" supplies this definition: clear (someone) of blame or suspicion.

What seems to be something very simple can tend to be a bit more complicated. And this whole train of thought was spurned by someone who has basically pained me for the past 2 weeks through a third party. The shameful part of it all? I almost forgot who I was. I almost allowed the entire situation to take me out of my zone, my norm, and for that to have happened is really out of my character. I'm pretty set in my ways, but there are things as I age that may possibly change for the better.

I guess this world never ceases to amaze me, and I should've remembered that from the get go. But hell, this has been an entertaining thing to write about. Let me know what words you think about.

Disappointment

For those that follow the spoken word movement also probably watch Def Poetry Jam. And for those that do, you probably recognize the name Poetri. I have great respect for this poet because his prose-style of storytelling on many off-the-wall topics opened my eyes to a different style of writing and performing.

The reason for today's blog? I just saw him in an Arby's commercial where in which he made a bet, lost, and was forced to wear a bumblebee suit while some C-grade actors laughed at him.

That's some sorry shit.

Poetri, stick to writing brother. Leave Arby's alone.